Today's random thoughts

I feel like both male and females alike are not being raised on how to properly love a person. How do we care for people while remaining guarded?

From what I have experienced and seen over the years, I have become guarded as well. I see what it does to the relationship if you remain guarded, you turn cold, selfish and it doesn't go far or end well. But at the same time, when you do open up and your partner throws it back in your face at a later time, trust is lost. Instead of talking about it, they sweep it under the rug or

run from it with drugs, alcohol, sex with other people etc, instead of discussing it with the person they are supposed to love.

I also continue to see people settling more so because they don't want to be alone, alone with their own thoughts, pasts and insecurities. They keep someone around to try and fill the void. I've seen it and I've been there, Ive been on both sides, I know it all too well, that's why I am way more satisfied single than I am unhappy with someone.

I'm not saying all relationships are just people settling. I am saying, however, there are a lot of relationships that are doing just that, or for convenience. When all the while they have no idea that one of their "truest loves," is wondering why it's taking their "future lover," so long to get to them. Cause your future lover is an idiot and is settling with some mediocre love when they could be living life and eventually finding exactly who they've always been looking for.

I know what you're thinking:

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"you're single, what the hell do you know about relationships?"

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Well, I've experienced bad relationships, which gave me a better idea of what a good relationship needs to be, for me. I don't and won't ever settle for less, which is why I'm single at the moment, and probably will be for a while !

Because I am a woman, and I love this sappy type of shit, I'm going to go a little into what I am looking for in a man.

Please remember I am only speaking on my preferences, this is not what I think every guy should be or every woman should desire, it's just become my flavor!

A man that is a Protector, first and foremost. A man that takes care of his body so that he is always ready to protect what is his. Someone who knows his surroundings; when it is safe and when he must protect. A man who walks on the outward part of the sidewalk to shield his partner

from traffic.

A cool and calm but intimidating demeanor is one of the very attractive things a man can have. A man who Isn't quick to get angry, but one look from him and you know you're in trouble. My type of manly man is one who knows how to operate a gun, shoot a bow and arrow, change the oil, jumpstart a dead battery, change a tire, knows how to fix and loves to build. A man who is a beast when it comes to his body, loves taking care of it, feeding it right, studies, understands and is constantly trying to be stronger. A man with a creative mind, who desires to learn. A man who enjoys constantly gaining knowledge, adapting, and researching.

These are just some of the qualities I look for in a man, the more I am get to know someone, the deeper I go.

After 30 years my line is pretty defined, I don't settle. My 20's were my years of settling for shitty relationships to help me

escape from dealing with my emotions, faults and regrets.

My 30's are going to be all about me loving myself, growing, learning, and becoming who I am meant to be.

I have a big list of what I want in a man, but the list is even bigger on the woman I want to become.

I know I have a long way to go, life isn't even CLOSE to being over for me. I know I'll have certain people join me along my journey of becoming my ideal woman, either to learn from or to love.

Just my random thoughts of the day.