Relationships and Social Media

The other day I posted to my facebook page, asking if anyone had any subjects they wanted me to write about in my blog. One person wrote and asked if I could write on Relationships and social media. I believe everyone has their reasoning as to why or why not, but I am going to give my thoughts on it.

In my 20's when I got into a relationship, this was one of the first subjects either I or the other person brought up: Posting our relationship to social media. Some just went along with it, didn't really say if they were for or against, and some disagreed with me on posting it to social media. The ones that disagreed with me? I found out later they were cheating. So of course, I grew into the mindset of thinking, anyone who isn't okay with sharing their relationship status on social media is cheating.

Is that true for all? No. But it damn sure is true for some. Let me just say, I have also grown to the mindset that some relationships shouldn't be shared to social media. For instance, if you know you're the type to change your mind in a week, a month or even six months, it's best you keep it off social media. If you're the serial relationship type, I suggest you keep it off social media, unless you enjoy being the brunt of the joke every week! If you're the type that likes to have multiple relationships at a time without either parties knowing, I suggest you stay off social media. Also, people who don't want to share it, I see nothing wrong with both parties wishing to keep their relationship off social media, either for professional reasons, or they just know there are people out there who enjoy ruining relationships and they'd rather not put a target on their back. Lastly, one you probably weren't expecting me to say, new relationships.

Why do I think new relationships should stay off social media? I believe you should really take the time to show that person you're in this for them, not for the story you get to tell the world. Guys, I don't know if you do this, but I sure as hell know a lot of us girls do. We find a dude that loves us, and we are head over heels, we want to share him! We want to show the world, "Look, someone adores me!" I don't think it's a bad thing, and dudes that have women like this should be so happy that they are adored this much! But I think the problem comes when we become more obsessed with the story than with the person. I can't speak for anyone but myself and what I have learned from previous relationships.

When someone catches my attention and we decide to start a relationship, I become intrigued with them first, then I research, I check their social media from pictures to videos, writings, all the way back. I want to know them. Of course, I am asking them all sorts of questions; how they grew up, morals, likes, dislikes, etc. I want to know someone that I am putting my time and effort into! And you know what? They better be doing the same, getting to know me, asking them questions!

I want to experience them, how they respond to me, how they interact with me, how often they are reaching out to talk to me. Sometimes I take a step back and watch how they pursue me. I go through all of the motions before I even think of posting to social. Not because I am ashamed of them, but I want to know them, the real them. Every quirk, fault, past mistake, life lessons, how they deal with anger, what motivates them, etc. When I say everything, I mean everything. I want them to know that I adore them for them. I believe once you've really set a foundation in your relationship, and you know the person well enough, then it can be a great time to share how much you adore them with the world.

Remember our "Social media relationship status," is only to tell other people, are you ready for everyone to know? Are you confident enough in your relationship and trust that person? If you answered no, or you're questioning why that person doesn't want to post to social media, maybe you should ask them. Get into the habit of communicating with the person or your partner before you post that meme hoping they'll see it and know you were giving them a hint on how to step up. That's why I don't think new relationships should post, because we get into the habit of posting to social media how we feel before we tell the actual person. If you are not happy, questioning something or your feelings are hurt, instead of posting a meme that says how you feel, hoping that person or your partner will eventually see it, talk to them directly. Get out of the habit of telling the world before you tell the person.

I'm pretty sure I repeated myself on that three times, but only because I wanted you to catch that! Too often we are telling the whole world how we feel through social media, before actually tell the person directly. When it comes to ANY type of relationship, don't get to the point where you are more obsessed with the story, than the person! But Damn! When you finally find that person, you're just like: