How we can help others who are in a Dark place
- Admin
- May 21, 2018
- 4 min read
I don't think we should be so hard on ourselves with the habits we've developed over time. It was the only way we were able to escape those feelings we didn't want to feel. Even though I say we shouldn't be hard on ourselves, we do need to recognize that these habits actually hold us back, they are a temporary release from our negative emotions. We need to get into the habit of dealing with our emotions in a healthy way.
"Have you spent time with these thoughts, have you challenged these thoughts?" Jermaine Cole.
Identifying when we are feeling emotions that we don't like and understanding them. Where they come from, how can we learn from them, what do we need to do different to keep ourselves from experiencing this, or beyond that, look into if they are helping us to adapt to our environment.
At a young age, all we saw were people trying to be the best versions of themselves, which is a good thing. But we mistook their trying with them being perfect, we never saw them fail.
Then social media came into the picture, and all we saw were perfect lives, perfect hair, perfect makeup and perfect relationships. The more we felt negative feelings the more makeup we applied, the more we searched for a relationship that would make us feel whole. The more we searched for the perfect hair or perfect body, because we thought that brought us our happiness. What we needed to be taught is that happiness is not a destination, it comes and goes, it is no greater or bigger than any other emotion. All emotions help shape us into who we are. We are still amazing when we feel deep, dark feelings. When we question our purpose and why we are here. Those emotions are also important! They are helping to shape our mindset, more importantly, they are helping us adapt.
Finally we are all seeing the real people behind the filters and the perfect angles. I do believe the best way to help others with their thoughts and their dark feelings is to talk more about ours.
I understand why so many people hold back to tell their truth. Putting real truth out there, sometimes can be pretty dark. When most people share dark posts, the audience thinks they should message that person and give the generic "are you ok? I'm here if you need me." It's like a check in the box for the person on the other side. I have been on both sides, the receiving and the giving end. On the receiving end, all I want to say is "I'm good," and get them away from me. They expect me to open up to them about my deepest and darkest feelings and I have no Idea how they could understand.
I have also been on the other side and I didn't know what else to do but to tell them, " I am here for you." Bu Honestly, How do I expect that person to tell me all their negatives, their faults, their thoughts they're ashamed of, without even opening up to them about mine? Why would they trust me? I know I wasn't trusting people who did that to me.
So once again I say, I think the best way for other people to seek help, and feel like they are not alone, is for others to share their story. I understand it is FUCKING scary to share, there are some things we still haven't dealt with, or past mistakes we know other people will bring up if we start speaking our truth.
You need to know that if you are sharing your story, there are going to be people, who we like to label as "trolls," that come along and want you to stop. They are going to try to do their best to hold you back and get you to stop. It is not because you're not enough, or your story isn't worth sharing. It is because these trolls have the deepest, darkest secrets of us all, that they never want to face. When they see other people facing their demons, and being successful, they try to stop them, so that they wont be encouraged to do the same for themselves. Just remember those "trolls," or bullies, or negative people, whatever you wish to call them, they are the ones who are hurting the most, they have the darkest secrets buried deep.
Understand when they come around, it has nothing to do with you, don't let their words become truth. You are the only one who can tell your truth!
To sum up today's thoughts, I just want to encourage you, whatever you are dealing with, however dark, however deep your thoughts go, stop running. Stop running to alcohol, drugs or anything else to hide from them, face them. Write them down, you don't have to post them to the internet, just write them down for you. Understand yourself, figure out why you are doing what you are doing. And last but not least, seek help. Talk to a professional. It doesn't mean you're weak, it means you don't understand and you need help. When we don't get that help from a professional, we think that we are carrying the burden alone. But loved ones and close friends are affected when we are not mentally taking care of ourselves. Please take care of yourselves! Love yourselves! And have a blessed week!
xoxo
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